Sick Visit

Rinchen’s been sick for over a week now so the staff went to visit her house after work. The custom of the whole group visit is still foreign to me – why go bother a person when they’re sick and make someone serve us tea? Of course, the sick person isn’t supposed to serve, but still. The same applies when someone is in the hospital. From other BCF teachers, I’ve heard stories of going to a small hospital room, the whole teaching staff crammed inside, awkwardly making conversation. I guess it’s showing that we care.

When we got there, Rinchen’s husband wasn’t home – at the office I heard – so her mother, who lives in Trashigang but is here to help out, served us tea, wine, beer, and biscuits. The house helper – a cousin or niece of Rinchen’s who lives there – was running around as well. I saw her in the hallway pulling drinking glasses out of boxes. I wondered if they were just purchased or had just been in storage.

I was pressured to drink beer which seemed ridiculous to me since our friend and co-worker was sitting in the other bedroom sick. Some of the female teachers went to sit with Rinchen. I wish I had as well. I didn’t know at the time when they stood and left the room that that’s where they were going, but I realized after and I couldn’t tell if I could sit with her also, if I felt comfortable enough or was allowed. I guess I knew I was allowed; I just didn’t know how to go about it. Rinchen’s been such a good friend to me since I’ve been here and I don’t know how to reciprocate during her time of need. Bring food to her family, as is customary when you go over to someone’s house? How would that help? I offered to give her movies to pass the time but she said watching anything made her nauseous.

She’s been bleeding for some time now. I remember her complaining weeks ago of some stomach pain. At first, it was suspected that she had a miscarriage, but the other teachers say that she hasn’t, that she’s still pregnant, unplanned. I think she’s had an ultrasound. It’s one of those situations where I can’t quite get accurate, detailed information partly because I don’t feel comfortable prying, partly because whenever anyone is sick in this country, no one ever knows what’s really going on.