Becoming

My twenty-seventh year will be remembered as the year I got offered a job to be the radio news reporter. It’ll be remembered as the year I left my first job in writing to take it. It’ll be remembered for these momentous events, because I’ve never felt what I’ve been feeling the past couple of weeks.

I wanted to write about it so I wouldn’t forget the series of events which have unfolded and how I became part of the movement of things.

To be fair, Steve set it off. He’s the one that arrived in Wrangell a little over six months ago from Columbus, Ohio, where he left behind a girlfriend and, I guess, his life. Because he never quite found a new one in Wrangell. He came, with a U-Haul full of belongings, to be the news reporter at Wrangell’s only radio state, KSTK. He’s leaving in essentially the same fashion, only this time with a smaller U-Haul.

Like everything else in Wrangell, word got out that he was leaving. When Maria first told me, I recall feeling excited but also reserved because I didn’t want to get my hopes up that the rumor could be truth. In hindsight it seems like it was then that the seeds had been planted – the seeds of departure, or the seeds of a new beginning.

A day or two later, it did become known as truth – Steve was indeed planning on leaving. He’s moving back to Ohio tomorrow to live with his girlfriend and write for a weekly newspaper. I found this out the night of September 14, the night that Rayme’s Bar had its grand opening.

Steve had hinted that Peter wanted me to fill in, but, again, I tried to quell my excitement. I also had hope, though, and there was no suppressing that. The idea was in my mind and I discussed the possibility of working at the radio with a few people but never made any decision about how I would approach it – would I talk to my coworkers, Kris and Beth, first, or talk first to KSTK’s general manager, Peter, to see if I even had a shot?

I never did make the decision. Peter called me at the Sentinel office later the next week and asked if I would like to meet with him and discuss moving into the reporter’s position at the radio. We met the following Wednesday.

I allowed myself the weekend to think about it. There were no pros and cons lists made. For as much thought as I put into it, I never came to anything resembling decisive. I was wishy-washy about it until the moment I called Peter that Monday and told him I wanted it. It was an odd sensation and realization. I was making firm decisions with an underlying layer of uncertainty. My gut knew it to be true, that taking the job with KSTK was the right thing; it was my heart that was, and remains, lagging.

Beth had said, and she was correct, that I had already made my decision days before I actually told Peter. I was just in denial of its certainty. I knew the moment that Peter called me at the newspaper office that I would take the job.

After I informed Peter of my decision, I told my coworkers the same day. The very next morning, after a tremendous amount of anguish and stress, I told my boss. It was painless. He made it easy. The only word he said throughout my scripted speech was “okay.” He repeated it a few times, but that was all that came out of his mouth.

And already, in less than a week after I gave my two weeks notice, a new writer for the Wrangell Sentinel has already been hired. And the reshuffling is complete. Steve moves back to Ohio to write for a weekly newspaper. I leave my weekly newspaper job to work at the radio. And some guy by the name of Ryan Long will be making the journey from Spring Lake, Michigan to Wrangell, Alaska to be the next newspaper reporter.

***

I have just attended my last city council meeting as the Wrangell Sentinel reporter, which in itself seems like its own entity to mull over. I’ve sat with that council for, I can’t even begin to count how many hours, and now I’ll be listening to the meetings from the KSTK studio where they are broadcasted live. Will I be able to still make sense of the council’s nonsense without seeing their expressions, without seeing the audience’s reaction?

Tomorrow, I will begin my last week at the paper. Thinking about it seems harder to grasp than just doing it.

Writing for the Wrangell Sentinel will probably stand out to be the most romantic job I’ll ever have. I’ve fallen in love with so many people in this community in terms of admiration, respect, and wonder. I have been allowed to observe various aspects of this town and listen to so many voices, sometimes loud, sometimes angry, sometimes polite, but always passionate.

And I hope to continue this love affair through my work at the radio station as the new reporter for KSTK. .