Last Class

The Form Ones start their week of final exams tomorrow, which made walking out of their classroom today feel a bit strange. I thought to myself, ‘That could be the last class I ever teach,’ but then I remembered I’m teaching one more “extra” class to the Form Twos on Thursday. It’s an “extra” class because the Form Twos have been done with normal classes for some time since the beginning of November. But aside from this “extra” class, I may never teach another formal English class again. It’s a bit hard to believe – teaching has been something I’ve returned to at different stages of my life – but it could be. Did I feel anything monumental? A feeling of loss perhaps? Not really. I almost didn’t realize it. I just kept walking off to wherever I was going and brushed the thought away.

Through all the grammar lessons and notes on the board and homework assignments and silly English activities, I’ll always wonder what I really taught the students in my life. What will they remember of me? What did they take away, if anything?

There are teachers of my past who I’d love to run into and apologize to for all the horrible things I did. It’s funny because that was something so common in Bhutan. In almost every farewell or thank you speech I heard while there (and I heard a lot), the person often apologizes for any wrongdoings they may committed or for any stress they may have caused someone. And in listening to those speeches, I also heavily doubted that that person had done anything slightly wrong. It was such a common practice though that I found myself doing it as well when I said goodbye to my staff in Bhutan – I apologized for any cultural norms I may have broken, for all the times I may have said or done the wrong thing, or if I just wasn’t as respectful as I could’ve been. Of course, my principal assured me that I had done none of those things, but I was glad that I had covered my bases.

I only wish I had done that as a young student. On the first day of school, I could’ve said to a teacher, “Forgive me for any disrespect I show you this coming school year. I’m sorry in advance for being rude, for being petty, for being selfish.”

 

This is not to say that the students at Orkeeswa have acted in this way. On the contrary, Orkeeswa students are some of the most polite and respectful students on the planet; I’ve been blessed in this way. It’s just that being a teacher really makes you think of what kind of student you were. I’d like to think that I was mostly a good student, but I know there were times when I was just plain mean.