Home?

On our second walk of the day at Sandy Beach.

Lota made me laugh so hard today. We were alone on the flats (which is part of why I love the flats so much – there’s a good chance for solitude) and with no ChuckIt or ball he was left to just run around in pure dog joy. And that’s what he did. He leapt across the narrow water ways with ease as I cautiously found the least slippery way. When he saw any water birds, he’d chased after them into the water, and once Lota gets wet, he’s a wound up ball of energy. He’d run frantically in and out of the water, then dart across the sand to scare more birds away. When really sopping wet, he’d look back at me coming his way, and he’d lie down on his belly, his head between his two front legs, a position he often gets in when he’s in snow – ready and waiting to just pounce on me. He was all salt water and sand and puppy happiness.

The day went like this – Lota walk, visit a house for sale, Lota walk, house, house Lota walk. All under a bluebird day.

And Scott comes home in about an hour after being away for 11 days. He’s been in Sitka helping to manage a herring sac roe fishery – commercial fishing for fish eggs.

We need to get out of our current housing situation because I almost can’t bear to live with a roommate for another moment longer. Don’t get me wrong, he’s a great person, but I prefer him when he’s not living in the house. Back in July, Scott and I got into a renting situation where our landlord is our roommate when he’s in town. And for most of the time, he’s been gone, but now he’s here and will be here until he sells the house, which means it’s time to go.

Scott and I are in this limbo phase – do we find another rental or do we start to make payments on a house? Both options are expensive. The question really is – do we want to make Juneau our home? And that’s a question we’re both hesitant to answer. Does the fact that we don’t know the answer an answer in itself. If we were both truly happy here, wouldn’t we know instantly? But are Scott and I capable of knowing when to put down roots? Is being in the right place like meeting the right person – you just know when it happens? Or is home harder to identify?

You often hear this line in Alaska – ‘I came to live here for two years. Thirty years later, I’m still here.’ As if my accident you can make a place your home. Do people say that sort of thing all over the country? Or is that characteristic of Alaska?

If we decide to buy a house, will we end up regretting it? But what if we continue to rent, and eight years later, we’ve spent all this money but have nothing to show for it? What’s better, or worse?

These questions are made difficult by how expensive housing here is. If houses cost between $100,000-$200,000, like they do in some parts of the country, these decisions would be easier to make.

Also, buying a house makes you think of other difficult prospects – having children, inviting parents to move in. All of this just proves that getting older can sometimes not be fun.